Even though I had, with alligator tears, fallen before God innumerable times with fear, guilt, and shame for my thoughts, behavior, and missed opportunities to do it right, there was no lasting change. Yes, with a surge of energy and a momentary sense of safeness, I ventured again into the fray against sin and properly lost. I proved inadequate but read the Bible which seemed to say at every reading to repent and, like the horse in the book Animal Farm try harder. Just like he did, in the end, I died to trying for I had nothing else with which to try. Bankrupt of a righteousness that could please God I, in fear and self-loathing, basically said, 'I quit!' You want an exhausted nothing, go for it! You have me, I QUIT!
He took me, transformed my heart by taking up His residence within, and in a flash fixed my wrong thinking. I now both trusted Him and agreed with Him, but gave up trying to be like Him or qualify for His love. Ever since that evening, August 10, 1974, at 6:30 PM the only sin I have had of which to repent is not trusting Him and jumping back into the forefront by trying to be like God or qualify for His love. Where I started is where I will live in eternity. He is enough! Yes. I agree with God, Jesus is enough.